Gifts & occasions21 categories
A condolence message that doesn't reach for platitudes
Someone has died and you've been staring at the message box for twenty minutes.
Help me write to someone who is grieving. The aim is to be present, not eloquent. Rules: 1. Name the person who died, using their name. Do not say "your loss". 2. Say one specific thing about them if I knew them: something I saw, something they said, a way they were. One concrete memory is worth more than a paragraph of sympathy. 3. Do not explain the death, find meaning in it, mention a better place, say they are no longer suffering, or compare it to any loss of mine. 4. Offer something specific rather than "let me know if you need anything": a named thing I will do, with a time. 5. Short. Three to five sentences. Do not ask them to reply. If I did not know the person who died, say so honestly in the note rather than implying otherwise. Do not invent memories or qualities. If I have given you too little, ask me one question. Who died, who I am writing to, and what I know:
Making it yours
- Paste your own material where the prompt asks for it. Everything above that line is instruction, not content.
- Delete any rule that does not apply to you. A shorter prompt that fits beats a thorough one that does not.
- If the answer comes back vague, add a line saying what you do not want. Constraints work better than encouragement.
Cards, toasts and notes. The words that go with it: card messages, toasts, thank-yous, condolences and invitations.
Related prompts
A card message that isn't genericThe blank card sitting on the table that you keep walking past.Write a toast I can actually deliverTwo minutes standing up with a glass, and you'd rather not read it off your phone.A thank-you note worth receivingAfter a gift, a stay, a favour, or someone doing more than they had to.Write the invitationWhen people need to know what this is, what to wear, and whether to eat first.A card message nobody else could receiveThe blank card on the table you keep walking past.Ninety seconds of toastStanding up with a glass and no wish to read off your phone.
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