Gifts & occasions
Most gift advice fails because it starts from a category, a budget bracket or an age range, and ends up recommending the same candle to everyone. The prompts below start from evidence instead: what the person has actually said, complained about, repaired, replaced or run out of. Several of them will push back on you, ask for detail before suggesting anything, and refuse to produce a list until they know enough to be specific. The writing prompts hold the same line for cards, toasts, thank-you notes and condolences, where the generic version is worse than nothing.
36 prompts in 4 groups
Gifts & occasions21 categories
Finding a gift
Ideas built from what you know about the person: to a budget, made by hand, or needed tonight.
- Find a gift from what I know about themLongThe default. You know the person well and still can't think of anything.
- A good gift for under this amountLongA real budget ceiling you're not going to quietly exceed.
- An experience instead of an objectLongWhen they have enough things and you want the gift to be a memory.
- Last-minute gift, todayLongIt's tonight or tomorrow and nothing can be delivered in time.
- Something I can make instead of buyLongWhen the gift should carry effort rather than price.
- Buy for a hobby I don't understandLongThey're deep into something you know nothing about and you don't want to get it wrong.
- Six gift ideas for this personShortThe default: you know them well and still cannot think of anything.
- Good at twenty pounds, not a cheap version of something expensiveShortA real budget ceiling you are not going to quietly exceed.
- Swap this gift for an experienceShortWhen they have enough things and the gift should be a memory.
- It is tonight and nothing can be deliveredShortNo time left and a gift still needed.
- A gift from evidence, not demographicsMediumYou know the person well and want something that proves it.
- Buying for a hobby I do not understandMediumThey are deep into something you know nothing about.
Tricky recipients
Colleagues, near-strangers, people who want nothing, and gifts that could land as pressure.
- A gift for someone who insists they want nothingLongThe parent, partner or friend who says "don't get me anything" and means it.
- A gift for a colleague, without being weirdLongSecret Santa, a leaving present, or thanking someone at work.
- A gift for someone I barely knowLongA new partner's parents, a host you've met once, a neighbour you owe.
- Give without creating an obligationLongWhen a gift might land as pressure, debt, or a request for something back.
- Anything but another candleShortWhen your gift instincts have become a rut.
- For someone who has everythingShortThe person who genuinely does not want more things.
- Is this gift too much?ShortWhen the amount might land as pressure rather than generosity.
- A gift for a colleague, pitched rightMediumSecret Santa, a leaving present, or thanking someone at work.
Cards, toasts and notes
The words that go with it: card messages, toasts, thank-yous, condolences and invitations.
- A card message that isn't genericLongThe blank card sitting on the table that you keep walking past.
- Write a toast I can actually deliverLongTwo minutes standing up with a glass, and you'd rather not read it off your phone.
- A thank-you note worth receivingLongAfter a gift, a stay, a favour, or someone doing more than they had to.
- A condolence message that doesn't reach for platitudesLongSomeone has died and you've been staring at the message box for twenty minutes.
- Write the invitationLongWhen people need to know what this is, what to wear, and whether to eat first.
- A card message nobody else could receiveShortThe blank card on the table you keep walking past.
- Ninety seconds of toastShortStanding up with a glass and no wish to read off your phone.
- What do I write in a condolence card?ShortStaring at a blank card after someone has died.
- Card message, warmer and drierMediumWhen you want to see the same message at two temperatures before choosing.
- A thank-you note that shows I noticedMediumAfter a gift, a stay, or someone doing more than they had to.
Occasions and group gifts
Milestones, weddings and new babies, celebrations, and organising several givers or several presents.
- A gift that marks a particular milestoneLongA big birthday, retirement, graduation, a first home, a hard year survived.
- Plan a celebration people enjoyLongYou're hosting something and the guest list doesn't all know each other.
- Wedding and new-baby gifts that aren't on the listLongWhen the registry is picked over or you want to give something they'll remember.
- Organise a group gift without the chaosLongSeveral people chipping in and nobody wanting to chase the money.
- Plan all the gifts for an occasion in advanceLongChristmas, a big family birthday season, or any month with five people to buy for.
- Run a group gift without chasing anyoneMediumSeveral people chipping in and nobody wanting to collect the money.
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